Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Spray Whore!


I thought I'd admit one of my many sins here on this blog. Yes I'm finally coming clean.

My name is Matthew and I'm a Spray Whore. It's a disease.

I'll spray you down with beta at a moments notice. I've grown over the years, not as bad as my rookie year, but I'm still brutal.

I remember when I first started climbing. I knew the beta for almost every established climb in Squamish. I could give you ten different variations for the classics. If you tried it and I saw you fail I'd shout across the forest the proper way.

It was so bad I walked into a party one time that turned out to be an intervention. They told me they loved me but I'd have to quit spraying or they wouldn't talk to me anymore.

So I went underground. I got subtle... sort of. Now I just allow you to try and patiently wait for you to fail. Then kindly offer my assistance. (Though inside I'm shaking, dying to blurt out the sequence)

This weekend I had an epiphany.... Tim can figure problems out on his own. I'm no longer making him look good with my secret genius.

Sure I know how to help you do it. Hell it might even be easier if I tell you. But I'm no longer going to steal another persons journey.

I'm going cold turkey.

Admitting one has a problem is the first step to recovery.

7 comments:

Jamie Chong said...

Hey thanks for the heel hook beta on An Hour Late the other day. I already knew about it, but your spraying encouraged me to actually try it.

m. said...

Don't tell me that! I can feel a relapse coming on. It's only been 36 hours since my last spray.

Just one more hit! I mean spray.

Anonymous said...

i suddenly feel all alone in this world

Tim said...

Nice Banner!!!

Random Rants said...

If this was your only dark secret I wouldn't be so concerned (yes even scared..I'll admit that) , but you know as well as I do that the rabbit hole goes much deeper. Shall I reveal your true horror's that lie with in, I think not. The world is an ugly place as it is and nobody needs to know about your involvement in to 911. I've said too much already....I can hear them coming for me! NO! NOOO!!!

m. said...

Banner thanks to Tim Bubbles!

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