Saturday, February 21, 2009

A New World Record!

I hate to overstate, but today something historic happened.
10 million BC man invents fire, 4 AD Jesus Christ is born, 1492 Columbus discovers America, 1969 man walks on moon, and now today Jamie Chong climbs the Seven Terrors!

I'll be able to tell my children one day, I was there to witness it. What makes this event truly amazing is that it all started innocently. We were over at Razorburn and Jamie just happened to walk by. I mentioned casually that Razorburn happened to be on the terror list. He laced up his rock shoes almost instantly. While most would shy away from a terror, Jamie attacked with full force. I was a bit surprised to be honest. Most spend years training for something this monumental. But he fought and struggled and flashed his way up Razorburn. Once he reached the top I knew it was on. It was a matter of strength, will and determination, and he had all those.

After he battled through Razorburn we headed over to Good As Gold. Almost instantly Jamie was humbled by the task he had undertaken. After an hour of silent meditation, he had to come to grips with his fears and met his task head on.

Next up BAD DAY LOW. The stopper, the widow maker, the one, the only, the devil in disguise. I won't lie that I had doubts it was going to happen. Upon his first try it was apparent that BDL wasn't going to give it up easy, he was going to have to fight. Dig deep, exorcise his demons. One try later he was at the top. A little shaky but ready for more.

Ol' Gite and Cream Puff Dream fall quickly but with drama all the same. Jamie was joined by his life partner Sara who help him keep his emotions together. At this point the light was failing so we rushed to Original Worm World where Jamie was successful though not without beta shouted from the growing masses.

The end was in sight. Only Pat Crapped At (aka first of the Seven Terrors) remained, with little light and a horde of fans watching as Jamie battled up the last and ironically the first of the Seven Terrors.

At first words escaped him. Humbled by his achievement he thanked his sponsors, his girl friend, his fans and lastly most of all Matthew.

Now we wait and see if this can be repeated like the four minute mile where the barrier was broken and quickly repeated less than a week later. Or will this be the long jump record that lasts 25 years. Only time will tell. But history will remember today.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Problems I'll never climb.

I thought just for fun I'd see if I could name all the V10's and above in Squamish.

Singularity 14
Zazen V14ish
Black Magic V13
North Ridge V13
Velcro Low V13
The Proposal Extension V13
Unlucky V12
Proposal V12
Pool V12
Swamp Thing V12
Summing Low V12
The Drowning Grip V12
Harry Met Sally V12
Vince Pinch V12
Something Wicked this Way Comes V12
Frontside V12
Agoraphobia V11
Encore Enfois V11
Sharma's Jump Start V11/12 if you don't jump.
Dead End V11
Perfect Cave V11
The Method V11
The Number 19 V11
Lucky Sharma's V11
Stalling Tim V11
Siddhartha V11
The Egg V11
Black Hole V11
One Zen V11
Funeral Arrangements Sit V11
An Hour Late V11
Wormworld Cave Left V11
Send the Pain Below V11
King Swing Low V10

Mo Troblems V10
Lo Troublems V10
Tragedy V10
Sharma's Link V10
Sushi Special V10
Tim's Face Low V10
Backseat V10
Jim Carrey V10
Krishana? V10
Night Crawler V10
Escaping Dilation V10
Mr. Bigglesworth Low V10
Zero Zero V10
Escaping Delirium V10
Black Nails V10
The Other Way V10
King Kong V10

Serpent V10

No Honor Amongst Thieves V10
Wormworld Cave Low V10
Matt's Pinch low V10 (above Fuzz)
Salad Shooter V10
Small Motion V10
Primal Urge V10
Great Escape V10
Great Escape Left V10
Broom V10?
The Seam V10
House of Parliament Sit. V10
Problem to the Right of Resurrection V10/Project sit.
Tyson's V10 by Second Story.

All grades are just guesses by someone who hasn't even tried most of these problems.
Apparently there are a few more done in the north walls that I don't know the names of.
All Photos stolen from Mike Chapman.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Spray Whore!

I thought I'd admit one of my many sins here on this blog. Yes I'm finally coming clean.

My name is Matthew and I'm a Spray Whore. It's a disease.

I'll spray you down with beta at a moments notice. I've grown over the years, not as bad as my rookie year, but I'm still brutal.

I remember when I first started climbing. I knew the beta for almost every established climb in Squamish. I could give you ten different variations for the classics. If you tried it and I saw you fail I'd shout across the forest the proper way.

It was so bad I walked into a party one time that turned out to be an intervention. They told me they loved me but I'd have to quit spraying or they wouldn't talk to me anymore.

So I went underground. I got subtle... sort of. Now I just allow you to try and patiently wait for you to fail. Then kindly offer my assistance. (Though inside I'm shaking, dying to blurt out the sequence)

This weekend I had an epiphany.... Tim can figure problems out on his own. I'm no longer making him look good with my secret genius.

Sure I know how to help you do it. Hell it might even be easier if I tell you. But I'm no longer going to steal another persons journey.

I'm going cold turkey.

Admitting one has a problem is the first step to recovery.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

It's Go Time! again...

Futures so bright I gotta wear shades!

Too bad my finger is F'd!

But I'm going anyways I don't even care...

I'm reminded of the movie "Boyz n the Hood" When Doughboy says "I'm going to the store."
And the other kids are like "you don't have any money". Doughboy's all "I'm going anyways."

That's me and Squamish. Though instead of ending up in the back of a police car, I'll just whine about my injury later to anyone who will listen.